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Three Musketeers
The misnamed Three Musketeers were a group of four elite Musketeers of the Guard who lived during 17th century and tasked to defend and protect the French Monarchy. These individuals would become the inspiration behind one of the greatest historical fiction adventure books of all time: The Three Musketeers and its sequels. Although little is known about them, all of them came from nobility and strong military lineage. They were also noted for their skills in swordsmanship and warfare. Three of them, Armand d'Athos, Isaac de Porthau, and Henri d'Aramitz were related to Comte de Troisville, a notable French officer at that time. He was also the one who called for the three to become musketeers based on their reputation in combat. Troisville would also be the one to introduce the most famous of all them all, Charles de Batz-Castelmore d'Artagnan to the elite regiment. Battle vs. Four Hitokiris of the Bakumatsu (by Elgb333) “Isn’t this magnificent Charles. The Orient, exotic, dirty yet breathing with life,” Athos said while sitting on the side of the ship with a bottle of sherry in his hand. “Well… isn’t it too early to be drinking dear Athos?” Aramis said after taking the bottle off Athos’ hand. “It’ll be a few minutes before this ship lands so I suggest that the rest of you prepare to disembark.” Athos then grudgingly got back to his feet, but took Aramis’ advice and went to his quarters to prepare. The young Charles can only look at his master dragging his wine gut back to his room. He then goes back to admiring the scenery that was in front of him. The lush land that was filled with odd-yet-beautiful pink trees and mountains that looked as if they were covered by sugar white frost. “What did they call this place again Monsieur Porthau?” Was it Nippon or Japan? Because the books and what they say don’t add up to what I am seeing today.” Porthos, who was sitting down and drawing a sketch of the scenery, puts his pencil down and replies, “Always the academic are you, young Charles. Don’t get yourself into what those books say. I can tell you they are discriminatory on how they describe the Far East. It’ll be better though if we can dock in and ask the people. Then you can get the answers you are looking for.” “Didn’t I already said that both of you should prepare? We’ll be docking in pretty soon, and if you remember, we’re not here for vacation, we are here for business,” the serious Aramis said. He then looks at Charles and warns, “Hardly, those are what the books can tell you boy. But I hope it’s not as bad as what I’ve heard them sailors talking about. This place is ablazed in revolution, people are out butchering each other, and nothing but even a bit of civilization is left. So prepare yourself and pray we don’t get into any trouble” “Heh. Every damn uncivilized place is like that. Always erupting in bloody revolution. England, Netherlands, Austria, thank God France isn’t one of them,” Athos said after putting on his best colorful cloak. The ship that they were on finally docked into one of the shipyards in Japan. It was hardly what these gentlemen were expecting, for the shipyard was nothing more than an improvised fishing port. Nonetheless, they guided the merchants as they traded their goods, making sure to keep a close eye on them if things do get violent. While the four musketeers weren’t bothered by anybody yet, their white appearance and their gaudy colorful costumes did attract the eyes of the local Japanese, who in turn don’t know if they should laugh at this clowns or despise them as barbarians. It was an awkward experience for the four musketeers too, but they were tight-lipped about it and tried their best to keep professional. However, it would be a matter of time before news of “barbarian merchants” soon circulated around Edo. The sights and awful descriptions were passed around from peasants, to spies and then to the patriots that guard the sanctity of Japan. They were not happy having these foreigners in their lands, and soon they decided to drive them out as bloody and intimidating as possible. The Four Hitokiris were then called upon by their lords, and were quickly given the task. They should do everything they can to get rid of these people, and make sure that they all get the message that Japan isn’t like other Asian countries around: it is not “for sale or for colonization.” The hitokiris, masterful samurai assassins, arrived in the dock as the French were still busy doing business. They gathered around behind cover and whispered their plan: “Izo, you with the musket. You stay here and fire at them from afar. Make them think that they are surrounded so that we can keep them in one place,” Toshiaki, the experienced leader said. “Consider it done,” the stoic Izo replied. “Killing them with a musket makes us look as barbaric as them,” the effeminate Gensai interrupted as if he observed the musketeers. “Can’t we talk to them at least? Invite them to tea first so that they’ll have a full stomach before we send them to Hell.” The hot-headed Shinbei on the other hand, didn’t took Gensai’s suggestion lightly and warned,” What the hell kind of a suggestion is that you bishonen freak. We don’t have time for you nonsense Gensai.” “Oro? What’s the matter Shinbei? Whatever happened to your Japanese hospitality?” “Knock it off both of you,” Toshiaki ordered. “We don’t have any time left to bicker. Now listen, Gensai, if you want so much to get a closer look at those barbarians then I suggest you run them down and introduce them to your sword. I’ll cover you with my pistol. Shinbei, I want you to keep that impatient hot-blooded head off yours in check, because I want you to sneak around the other side and wait for the right opportunity to strike. No quarters, and no mercy. We’re not just here to kill them, we’re here to deliver a message.” Shinbei puts up a satisfying grin at the plan they’ve concocted. “So we’ll be surrounding them. Three of us we’ll be attacking from either side while Izo here will be shooting at their brunt. The only way for them to escape then is to either die or swim back to whatever oni island they came from. Brilliant, Toshiaki. Brilliant as always.” The four musketeers have been standing in the port for an hour and still the merchants weren’t yet done. The sun was already bearing on them, made worse by their thick cloaks and dresses. A huge crowd has started to build in the port that they were on, many of them were just peasants who wanted to look at them in awe as if they were wild exotic animals. The now annoyed Athos, who wasn’t really the calmest of the four, couldn’t take it anymore and asked the merchant in a very enraged voice, “What’s taking you people so long?” But before the merchant can reply, a musket ball suddenly tore through his lower jaw, instantly killing him, before embedding itself on Athos’ shoulder. “Gyaaaaah!” Athos yells in pain as he drags himself back to the other musketeers. Charles manage to grab him into cover as the rest of the musketeers unsheathe their swords. “En guard men! En guard! Enemies are upon us!” Aramis said. Izo, the hitokiri who fired that shot, calmly reloads his musket and fires another. The bullet missed, instead hitting Porthos hat off of his head. “Porthos, the gunner, he’s hiding behind those crates in front of us!” Charles yelled. “I see him garson,” Porthos said before unhooking his own flintlock musket. Soon the whole marketplace has gone into a frenzy. As the French merchants run and scatter for safety, the local Japanese became rabid. Ignited by fever patriotism, they grabbed whatever tools and weapons they can find and started hunting and killing the foreigners. Blood started to get spilled and turned the beach water red. Things were not looking good for the musketeers. “Any more advice you can impart on us d’Artagnan?” an almost panicking Aramis said. As Charles look around at the bloodspill that was happening, he then looks sternly to Aramis and said, while clutching a wounded Athos in his arms, “We need to get of here vite. This is no place for us right now, we need to retreat.” As the musketeers started evacuating, Porthos finally fires his pistol at the assassin. His flintlock musket, while the most advanced technology of its time, lacked a front sight, so his shot missed Izo by only a few centimeters. Izo, calm as always, fires his tanegishima musket, and since it has a front sight, managed to graze the cloak of Porthos. “Hmmph,” Porthos snarked. Close but no cigars. As the two reloaded their weapons, Porthos managed to reload his gun faster, and now he adjusted his aim and finally hits Izo in the throat, effectively putting him down bleeding and squirming to death. “Nice shot brother!” Aramis said. But Porthos can only reply to him with a surprised face as he sees a samurai quickly lunging at Aramis. “Look out!” Porthos said as Gensai appeared from the crowd in blinding speed with his katana. Fortunately, Aramis’ fast reflex saved him as he manage to catch that attack with his rapier. As the two swordsman grinded their steels, Gensai gave out a smirk, “Amazing. I’ve never seen anyone block that attack. But let’s see if you’re still fast enough to dodge this.” And then from out of nowhere, Toshiaki came forward and shot Aramis right in the face with his percussion pistol. “Nooooo!” Porthos and the rest of the musketeers yelled as they saw Aramis’ lifeless body fall to the ground. As Porthos aimed his rifle at Toshiaki, Shinbei suddenly appears from the back and slashes Porthos head clean off. The sight of two of their comrades being killed by the assassins enraged the remaining musketeers. They quickly run towards the samurais in order to avenge their comrades. Charles grabs his flintlock pistol and shoots Toshiaki in the chest, killing him and avenging Aramis’ death. The two remaining samurais try to back away slowly as the musketeers came barreling towards them like hungry bears. Athos, though wounded, used his large size to tackle Gensai, sending him crashing through some crates. As Athos tries to finish him off with his rapier, Shinbei came to Gensai’s rescue by plunging his wakizashi through Athos’ side. This only further infuriates Athos and he makes a thrust at Shinbei’s shoulder, burying the blade inches through. Athos follows it up with another stab at Shinbei’s face with his main gauche, but Shinbei blocks it with his katana and the two square off in a classic sword fight. Athos tries to draw his other flintlock pistol, but Gensai manages to unsheathe his nagianta first and slashes at Athos’ back, but his attack was parried by Charles d’Artagnan and his broadsword. “Such a waste to kill such a handsome face. What’s your name boy?” Gensai asked. “Charles de Batz-Castlemore d’Artagnan. A name that your family will be talking about after I kill you,” Charles retorted. “Oooooh,” Gensai said with a seductive look. He then jabs his naginata at Charles, but the young boy again parries it with his sword before making a huge slash at Gensai’s chest, drawing blood. Though not deep enough to cause a kill, Gensai again just smiles at the kawaii Charles for doing so, “Nice. Good work I liked that one.” Charles then makes a wild thrust that Gensai easily dodges. As Charles finally created a distance between him and the samurai, he manages to finally draw and aim his pistol. However, he failed to get a clear shot as Gensai quickly blitzes off like a blur towards him. Knowing that he’ll get skewered by Gensai’s polearm if he doesn’t act quickly, Charles aims his weapon instead towards Aramis’ dead body. “Sorry monsieur…” Charles said as he shoots one of Aramis’ grenados. As the grenade blew up, the rest of the grenados on Aramis also simultaneously exploded, throwing Gensai, Charles, Athos and Shinbei off their feet, and destroying much of the fort they were standing on. Now the remaining warriors are forced to finish this fight on the beach. Gensai, though shaken with his kimono on fire, quickly gets back on his feet and removes his top. Charles was getting back to his feet himself, and seeing an opportunity, he quickly lunges towards Gensai. Charles attempted another stab, but Gensai anticipates and, using the naginata’s reach advantage, slashes at Charles’ hand, cutting off three fingers and making him drop his sword. Charles can only yell in pain on the ground as he clutches his now fingerless hand. “You were good, boy, but you are no match for me,” Gensai said as he readies to plunge his naginata at Charles. However, Charles quickly grabs his sword using his other hand and quickly plunges it on Gensai’s chest before the samurai can plunge his. Gensai spits a mouthful of blood before going down lifeless on the floor like a rag. With his opponent dead, Charles lays down on the sand and rests as he waits Athos to finish his battle. Athos and Shinbei are still at it, clashing their steel at each other, both showing no hesistation and skill in this duel. As their swords clash and clangs with every contact, Athos looks at Shinbei’s eyes and says, “Damn you heathen! Can’t you see your comrades are dead? Give it up already!” “For people like us gaijin, death is nothing but a next great journey,” Shinbei said before going low and slashing Athos’ big plump belly. Blood came pouring in as Athos clutches his gut in pain, before Shinbei finishes him by slashing a half of his head. “Nooooooo!” Charles said after seeing the last of his friend die. He runs towards Shinbei with his sword but the samurai just shoulder throws him away from the shore and back into the watery beach. With his opponent dazed from the attack underwater, Shinbei then plunges his katana on Charles’ shoulder, pinning him on the sea floor. The musketeer tries in vain to get out before he can drown, but the samurai was relentless and he puts all his weigh on his sword to make sure his opponent stays underwater. However, he failed to notice Charles getting his sword back. The musketeer then quickly makes a slash that connects on Shinbei’s lower jaw and slices it off. With his jaw gone, Shinbei’s body then fell on the beach with a surprised look at his face. Charles d’Artagnan quickly gets back on his feet and raises his sword in victory. Expert’s Opinion While the hitokiris did have weapons that were slightly better than the musketeers (like percussion pistols and katanas which were superior to a civilian rapier), experts still believed that the musketeers’ skill in swordsmanship would defeat the hitokiris, who were more accustomed to killing unsuspecting victims than fighting up close and personal. To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here. Disregarded Battles Battles here were deemed to be unfair or otherwise not in accordance with wiki standards, and have been removed from the statuses of the warriors and displayed below. Battle vs. Zorro (1998 film) (by The Deadliest Warrior) Zorro: Three Musketeers: Zorro and three of his bandits crouch in hidden positions in the forest as they lie in wait for unsuspecting nobility to pass by. The warm sun is pleasant and mild, and soon Zorro's men begin to nod off. Zorro, however, remains alert and angrily wakens his men when he sees a horse-drawn carriage rumble down the path. Zorro aims with his Brown Bess and fires at the carriage driver, killing him. The carriage comes to a stop and out rush four men with muskets and swords in their scabbards: D'Artagnan, Porthos, Aramis, and Athos. Zorro steps out into the road with his bandits and begins to announce himself with a swish of his cape when Athos raises his wheel-lock and shoots one of the bandits in the neck, causing red blood to leap into the air and the robber to crumple instantly to the ground. Zorro and his men fire back but the Musketeers wear armor and the bullets bounce off of their breastplates. D'Artagnan shoots another bandit in the stomach and the man drops his musket, grabs his stomach, and lays moaning on the ground. The other bandit takes off running and Zorro disappears into the bushes. D'Artagnan takes out his rapier and quickly slices the wounded bandit's throat before the group pushes after the retreating bandit. Zorro watches the Musketeers go forth and waits for them to go out of sight before he salvages his slain men's muskets, reloading them carefully before pushing forth silently and carefully. Up ahead on the trail, Zorro's man makes a brave last attempt to shoot Porthos in the chest (which is useless against the armor) before he draws his fencing sabre and lunges at the Frenchman. Porthos knocks the blade from his hands and follows up with a thrust to the throat. The shocked bandit spits blood and dies on the blade. Porthos pulls the blade out and watches the bandit drop before he falls dead as Zorro shoots him in the head with the Brown Bess. The three remaining Musketeers turn in shock and see Zorro holding three muskets, his and those from his slain bandits. Zorro tosses the already used musket aside and kills Athos while the Musketeers still stand shocked. Aramis and D'Artagnan regain themselves and charge with swords at the ready, but Aramis is wounded in the leg with Zorro's last musket shot. Zorro tosses the gun aside and whips out his sword, slashing at D'Artagnan's arm, but the blow is parried. Zorro grins at his opponents, both of whom are now on the offensive. The Musketeers push forward but Zorro goes for a low blow on Aramis's ankle, which is succesful. The pain causes Aramis to drop his sword and he is promptly all but decpitated with a vicious swing from Zorro's sword. D'Artagnan looks fearful but slashes at Zorro's sword arm. The scratch is minor and Zorro dives in close to negate the Musketeer's sword reach advantage. D'Artagnan tumbles backward and hits his head on the back of a tree, stunning himself. Zorro seizes the opporunity and plunges D'Artagnan's own sword into its master's neck. Blood bubbles out from the wound and stains the dead man's coat red. Zorro straighens himself and shouts in victory before he runs back to the stopped carriage to take what he can. Expert's Opinion TBW To see the original battle, weapons and votes, click here. 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